Nix on why he started his streaming career: “I wanted to do something where I’m solely responsible for my own results.”

People tell me, “If you’re so damn smart, why didn’t you win everything?” First of all, people don’t understand what team play is. No matter how well you play or how much you understand—it all depends heavily on the team. It has to be completely united, roughly speaking, on the same wavelength. I didn’t understand any of that back then. What I’ve come to realize now, and the philosophy I have in my head—that all came after I stopped playing. My personal growth really only began after I stopped playing. Because while I was playing, while I was stuck in that “Groundhog Day” routine—waking up to 10 hours of training, sleep, 10 hours of training, sleep, and so on—how could I possibly think about books, self-reflection, or anything else?

I had this thing where I burned out. I put my whole heart into it. Like Miposhka said, we played together for two years, then he went to Team Spirit, and I ended my career. He says, “Sanya is the best player for two weeks.” I just tell everyone everything, I draft everything—I mean, I put so much into it, I want to win so badly that at some point I just can’t take it anymore. I’m a super perfectionist, and I really wanted to be in control. That’s why I went into streaming. I wanted to do something where I’m responsible for my own results. Because I’m incredibly intolerant—not of people’s mistakes, but of the fact that people don’t give a damn about what they’re doing.

I was so fanatical that when a teammate wasn’t pulling his weight, to help him, I’d watch his replays so I could explain it to him. That is, during the time I could have been putting into my own game. For some reason, I had this childish notion that every roster I put together was *the* roster—these were *my* guys, the friends I’d handpicked—and that together, we’d grow and become a strong team. But I understood that not everyone thinks the way I do. Let’s say we were stuck in Kyiv at bootcamp in 2019. Back then, we had our strongest roster ever; we beat everyone in the CIS, including Virtus.pro, and so on. There was a brief period when we were the strongest team in the CIS. We played the grand final against Nigma Galaxy—the best team in Europe against the best team in the CIS. Then COVID hit, and we had to prepare for EPICENTER. <...> And we were stuck there for three months. And here’s something to help you understand the difference in mindset: I was like, “Wow, holy shit! We’re stuck in the house for three months—this is the perfect chance. God helped us so we could just sit here and train around the clock. We’ll come out of this boot camp in three months, and no one will ever beat us.” The guys: “Fuck! Three months playing Dota. I just want to go home—I’ve got a girlfriend and my mom there.” Totally different stories. At some point, you realize you’re not willing to put in the effort anymore. You know, totally different stories. Like one guy yells, “Let’s go get drunk, girls,” and I say, “Guys, let’s go for a run.” Basically: let’s get up early, we’re going to outwork everyone right now—and then it just stops, you know? And then that’s it. And then you realize that you’re putting in, putting in, putting in, but you see that the person doesn’t want to—and at some point, you just lose it. You just realize that’s it, I’m not willing to put in the effort anymore.